


Sweetheart, What Have You Done To Us

by aquatictalks



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Both Of Them Are Messes, Fighting and making up, M/M, Some Swearing, but sometimes that's not always enough, but they're messes who love each other, implied sex like once, surprise ending (but a very good surprise i promise), this is a rollercoaster, until it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22673953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquatictalks/pseuds/aquatictalks
Summary: Yuto and Hyunggu can't seem to stop fighting. Their breaking point is a lot closer than either of them were ready for.
Relationships: Adachi Yuto/Kang Hyunggu | Kino
Comments: 3
Kudos: 57





	Sweetheart, What Have You Done To Us

**Author's Note:**

> ayyyyyyy, finally back with another piece. it's been months since i've finished a piece bc work has been kicking my ass 7 ways to sunday, like fuck. so sorry if this sucks, i've been super out of practice, and the only reason i was able to even get to the ending bc wine drunk me was determined to finish this mf and i did (thank u wine)!!! but hopefully this helps get me back in the swing of things :D

“Are you even listening to me?” Yuto sighed. 

“Of course I am, but you’re being ridiculous so I’ve decided to ignore it,” Hyunggu rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not being ridiculous,” Yuto frowned, “I’m unhappy.” 

“We got in a fight, Yuto. It happens. Couples fight. It’s over now though,” Hyunggu told him, “Now come sit down and finish your spaghetti before it gets cold.”

“Not as much as we do,” Yuto mumbled, taking a bite of his meatball. 

“What was that?” Hyunggu asked. 

“I said other couples don’t fight as much as we do,” Yuto sighed. 

“Well, other couples aren’t us, are they?” Hyunggu raised his voice.

“Here we go again,” Yuto leaned back in his chair. 

“What? Do you have something to say? Say it then, go on,” Hyunggu crossed his arms. 

“You just… you don’t have to raise your voice after everything. It was just a comment, no need to get hostile,” Yuto sighed again. He had been doing a lot of sighing when it came to Hyunggu; he wasn’t sure he liked it. 

“I’m not hostile,” Hyunggu gasped. 

“Look, whatever,” Yuto conceded, “Let’s just finish our dinner.”

“No, you know what,” Hyunggu stood up, “that’s okay. You can have mine. I seem to have lost my appetite and will be going to take a shower. Enjoy my absence, since you seem to despise my presence so much.”

“Hyunggu, that’s not,” Yuto started, but the bathroom door was already slamming shut. 

Yuto ran his hand through his hair, tugging roughly at it in his frustration. He could feel the fire in his chest turn into a dull ache. He could only imagine how strong Hyunggu’s fire was still burning; Hyunggu always took a lot longer to calm down than Yuto did. It was like fighting a forest fire with a garden hose. Yuto sighed, again, finally pushing himself up out of his seat. He scraped the spaghetti off both of their plates and into the trash can, before putting them in the dishwasher. He could still hear the water running from the shower, so he used that opportunity to take out the trash. 

Yuto liked taking out the trash. As he walked to the back corner of the back parking lot and threw the bag in the dumpster, he sat down on the curb and lit a cigarette. Taking out the trash was the only chance he had to smoke. Hyunggu hated Yuto’s smoking habit, hell, Yuto hated his own smoking habit, but on nights like these, he couldn’t fight the pull of it. Yuto sighed, again, and put out the cigarette before heading back upstairs where he hoped he could talk to Hyunggu peacefully. 

Yuto raised his eyebrow when he still heard the water running. Hyunggu never showered that long. “Hyunggu? Is everything okay in there?” He knocked on the door.

Yuto thought he heard a sniffle, before Hyunggu’s voice cut through the door, “Yeah, everything’s fine. Almost done, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Yuto knew better than to leave it at that. He could feel Hyunggu’s lie like a vine around his chest, squeezing tightly. Yuto gently pushed the door open, greeted with just about exactly what he expected when he heard Hyunggu’s voice tell him everything was fine. Hyunggu was sitting in the bathtub, knees pulled up to his chest, skin bright red from the scalding hot water, his eyes red and puffy, and his cheeks still stained with tear tracks. Yuto’s stomach plummeted. He quickly ran to turn the water off, wrapping Hyunggu in a towel. 

“I told you I was fine,” Hyunggu leaned into Yuto’s embrace.

“I know better than that,” Yuto hugged him tighter. 

“Do you still love me?” Hyunggu’s voice was quiet, tentative like he was afraid of the answer he might receive. 

Yuto tilted Hyunggu’s chin up with the side of his pointer finger so that Hyunggu was looking directly at him, “Of course I still love you.”

“I,” Hyunggu sniffled, “Thank you.”

Yuto shook his head and Hyunggu knew Yuto didn’t want to hear Hyunggu’s thank you. Yuto didn’t like feeling like he was doing Hyunggu a favor by loving him, he loved Hyunggu because he just did. 

“I love you too,” Hyunggu leaned his head against Yuto’s hand that was now resting on his cheek, “You know that right?”

“I do,” Yuto told him, “I really do. Come on, let’s get you dressed and in bed, we’ve both had a long night.” 

As Hyunggu curled into Yuto’s side, he felt his eyes immediately get heavy. “I feel at home with you, and yet, you deserve so much better than me,” Hyunggu said softly, not realizing he voiced aloud what was intended to be his inner musings.  
Yuto was certain Hyunggu’s words were supposed to fall on deaf ears, but he heard every word, and it felt like a sharp thorn in his hand. If he hadn’t heard Hyunggu’s breathing already even out, he would’ve proved to Hyunggu just how wrong he was. Yuto didn’t deserve better than Hyunggu. If anything, Hyunggu deserved better than Yuto. Hyunggu was the best thing that ever happened to Yuto. Despite all of the fighting, the screaming, the fire, he knew better than to ever believe he would be better off without Hyunggu. Hyunggu was his person. 

“What are they doing?” Wooseok mumbled to Hongseok. 

“Fighting,” Hongseok sighed, “again. Just not out loud because they don’t want to cause a scene in the restaurant.”

Hyunggu’s phone dinged and everyone was tense as they watched Hyunggu’s eyes scan the message. Hyunggu put his phone in his pocket calmly, which put everyone even more on edge. As Hyunggu dropped a $20 on the table, Yanan realized what was going on and he winced. There was no explosion because it was going to erupt later and Yuto would be the only one to face the damage. 

“Thank you for inviting me to dinner, Jinho, but I have to take my leave,” Hyunggu smiled politely, “That should cover my meal, use the change towards the tip.”

“Hyunggu,” Yuto grabbed Hyunggu’s hand, “Sit down.”

The ferocity that was radiating from Hyunggu as he tore his hand out of Yuto’s made the hair on the back of everyone’s neck stand up. “I said, I will be leaving,” Hyunggu glared. 

“Fine,” Yuto relented, knowing better than to stir the pot even more, “I’ll come with.”

“No, enjoy your time with our friends,” Hyunggu insisted.

“Yeah, Yuto,” Wooseok interjected, “Stay.”

Hongseok stomped on Wooseok’s foot. “Shut the fuck up,” Hongseok said through clenched teeth, “Don’t put yourself in the middle.”

Hongseok should’ve known Hyunggu was smarter than that. “It’s okay, Hongseok,” Hyunggu said, “Wooseok is right. Yuto should stay.” 

Before Yuto could argue anymore, Hyunggu was walking away and Yanan was pulling Yuto back into his seat to stop him from chasing after Hyunggu. 

“Yanan,” Yuto protested.

“Don’t chase after him,” Yanan interrupted, “You know it’s only going to be bad for you. He’s like a ticking time bomb, Yuto.”

“Yanan,” Changgu scolded, “Watch it. It’s not your place to decide what’s good or bad for Yuto.”

“Oh come on,” Yanan scoffed, “I can’t be the only one who sees it.”

“No you’re not, but there’s more to it than you realize,” Changgu started, “So you need to stay out of it and stop picking sides when you hardly know even a fraction of the full story just because you’re the one with a-”

“Changgu, enough,” Shinwon said sharply, “You don’t need to go there.” 

“I love Hyunggu,” Yuto announced suddenly, “I appreciate all of your concern, but Hyunggu is my person. Sure we fight, but we always make up. I love Hyunggu and he loves me, no matter what you think.” 

“We know, Yuto,” Hwitaek patted his hand, “Couples have rough patches where fights seem to be more prevalent than non-fighting, but I believe that once you get past this, the two of you will be even stronger than before.” 

“Thank you, Hwitaek,” Yuto smiled.

Changgu smiled at Yuto, before catching Yanan’s eye and immediately his expression turned sour. 

“Yuto,” Yanan turned to him, “Would you like to stay with me tonight? I got a new movie in and I think it would be good to give Hyunggu a little bit of space.”  
Changgu’s eyes widened at the same time his eyebrows furrowed; his face a mix of anger and confusion. 

Hongseok squeezed Changgu’s bicep, massaging it a little bit as he tried to get Changgu to relax. 

“I don’t know, I should really try and patch things up with Hyunggu, he’s really upset,” Yuto told him.

“Oh come on,” Yanan smiled charmingly, “Hyunggu likes his space, and maybe if he cools down enough it’ll save you from another argument altogether. We haven’t spent a lot of time together and I miss you.”

Yuto mulled it over, “Fine. Yeah, okay, I’ve really missed you too.”

Changgu’s mouth dropped open. 

“Changgu relax,” Shinwon whispered a warning in his ear, “You’re not going to do yourself any favors behaving like this.”

“Can’t you see what he’s doing?” Changgu whispered back his protest, “Hyunggu is supposed to be his friend yet Yanan really has no problem stabbing him in the back. Do you know how hurt Hyunggu is going to be? He’s not stupid, he knows how Yanan feels about Yuto. It’s what they fight about a lot because Yuto is so oblivious.”

“Yuto knows better though,” Shinwon reassured him, “I know you’re worried about Hyunggu, but if, and that is a very strong if, Yanan actually tried something, I have no doubt that Yuto would reject him.”

“You better be right,” Changgu said, “Yanan can be hard to resist.”

Hongseok’s hand that was now resting on Changgu’s thigh, squeezed his thigh, trying to let Changgu know that everything was okay now.  
Changgu laid his hand on top of Hongseok’s, letting Hongseok know he was grateful for him. 

The two of them didn’t need a lot of words to express the things they wanted to say to each other.

“Well,” Jinho breathed out, “I think this evening needs to come to a close. I think not only Hyunggu but everyone at this table needs to take a breather and unwind.”  
Changgu was the first one up, sending a silent apology to Hongseok, and out of the door. 

“Where’s he going?” Wooseok asked.

“To check on Hyunggu,” Hongseok whispered. 

Wooseok made an ‘ah’ shape with his mouth, nodding. 

As Yanan linked his arm with Yuto’s as they began to leave, Hongseok was quite glad Changgu had already left. 

Changgu got to Hyunggu’s and Yuto’s apartment as quickly as he could, opening the door without even thinking to knock. 

“Yuto?” Hyunggu asked as he turned around to face the door, his voice hopeful before he realized it wasn’t Yuto.

“Sorry little one,” Changgu smiled softly, “Just me.”

“Where’s Yuto?” Hyunggu asked, “Is he still mad? Does he hate me?”

“Hey,” Changgu rushed to calm down Hyunggu, “No, no, no. He just went to watch a movie with Yanan at Yanan’s place. He’s going to stay the night.”

“He what?” Hyunggu stood up, the fire building back in his chest.

“I tried to stop Yanan,” Changgu told him, “Listen to me, Hyunggu, Yuto isn’t to blame for believing Yanan’s intentions with him aren’t strictly platonic. Trust me, Yuto only has eyes for you.”

Hyunggu fell into Changgu’s embrace, “He’s going to leave me. Why wouldn’t he? Especially for Yanan. Yanan is prettier than I am, he’s smarter than I am, he’s kinder than I am. It’s only a matter of time before Yuto realizes how much better Yanan would be for him anyway.”

“Don’t think like that,” Changgu hugged him, “You’re amazing. You love Yuto and he loves you, more than anyone else. Hold onto that.”

“I’m sorry,” Hyunggu wiped his eyes, “I just… I don’t want to lose him. Thank you for being here with me. I’m not sure what I’d do without you.”

“Of course,” Changgu smiled, “What are best friends for?”  
“I’m starting to think you’re the only friend I have left,” Hyunggu murmured. 

Hyunggu woke up in an empty bed, Changgu having left last night, and still no word from Yuto. Hyunggu sighed, curling himself into the blankets more and rubbed his hand on Yuto’s side of the bed where Yuto should be. He wrapped his arms around Yuto’s pillow and hugged it close to him, trying to relieve the tight feeling in his chest. Hyunggu squeezed his eyes shut tight, forcing himself to go back to sleep rather than let himself agonize with overthinking and to let himself cry over Yuto again. 

Yuto unlocked his apartment door, being as quiet as possible. He wasn’t sure why he was so tense, but for some reason, there was a feeling deep down in his gut that made him feel unwelcome in his own home. He walked into his bedroom and immediately froze right past the door. He saw Hyunggu bundled up and looking smaller than Yuto ever thought possible. The morning sun was illuminating Hyunggu’s skin. Yuto could’ve sworn that gold was sprinkled over Hyunggu. Yuto’s breath caught in his throat. Hyunggu looked so ethereal and so gentle with his eyes softly shut and skin shining brightly. Yuto smiled when he saw what Hyunggu was holding in his arms. He changed into a pair of boxer briefs and a large shirt and pulled the pillow out of Hyunggu’s arms and slowly replaced it with his own body. Hyunggu let out a small whine in his sleep because of the movements but he still didn’t awaken. Yuto kissed Hyunggu’s forehead as he held Hyunggu closer and drifted off to sleep. 

Yuto woke up to a sulky Hyunggu sitting on the end of the bed. Hyunggu’s hair was messy, his cheeks still pink from his sleep. Yuto thought he looked absolutely adorable. Yuto leaned forward, running his hand up Hyunggu’s bare thigh. “What’s wrong, love?” Yuto whispered, his voice raspy and deep from just waking up. 

“Nothing,” Hyunggu swallowed. 

“Come on, baby, you can tell me,” Yuto squeezed his thigh. 

“It’s just,” Hyunggu sighed, “you and Yanan.”

“We’re just friends,” Yuto sighed, taking his hand off Hyunggu’s thigh, “We’ve talked about this. I love you and only you, Yanan knows that. Am I not allowed to spend time with my friends anymore?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Hyunggu scoffed, “Yanan likes you.” 

“No, he doesn’t, Hyunggu,” Yuto rolled his eyes, “How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“God, whatever,” Hyunggu sighed, “I know he does, Changgu knows he does, Hongseok and Shinwon know too, and I’m pretty sure even Wooseok has managed to figure it out by now. The only one who hasn’t is you.”

“Really, Hyunggu?” Yuto folded his arms, “You want to do this right now?”

“If not now, then when?” Hyunggu asked pointedly, “You just brush me off and tell me not to worry about it, but I worry about it.” 

“I love you,” Yuto told him, “There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Do you?” Hyunggu asked.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Yuto asked, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Exactly what I said,” Hyunggu shrugged. 

“Of course I fucking love you, you asshole,” Yuto scoffed. 

“Yeah, well,” Hyunggu smiled bitterly, “sometimes it doesn’t seem that way.”

“What?” Yuto’s voice began rising in volume and emotions, “I have done nothing but show you how much I love you every single day we’ve been together. Three years, I’ve done everything to make you happy and to love you in every way I can. How could you question that?”

“I don’t know,” Hyunggu answered, “Maybe it’s because Yanan is better than me in every single way and you choose to spend time with him. It was only a matter of time. Yanan is perfect. I’m not.”

“You’re an idiot,” Yuto shook his head, “Yanan is my friend, your friend, our friend. I’m not interested in him the way I am in you. I never have been. Why are you questioning that all of a sudden? I mean we sat on opposite ends of the couch last night, and I slept on the couch while he slept in the bedroom. Nothing happened, so why are you acting like I’m considering leaving you for him?”

“Because, maybe you should,” Hyunggu screamed. 

“What?” Yuto’s breath caught in his throat.

“Yanan is kind, warm, gentle. Everyone knows I’m bad for you. Our entire friend group hates me because I’m always the bad guy. I’m sensitive, I’m mean, I cause problems, so I’m the bad guy. And you know what? They’re right. They’re absolutely, completely, totally right. Yanan is the one you should be with.” 

“No, he isn’t,” Yuto’s voice softened, “I love you. That’s what matters. That’s all that matters. That's enough.” 

“Until one day it isn’t,” Hyunggu whispered, “Love can’t fix everything. I’m not capable of fixing.” 

“You’re not broken,” Yuto held Hyunngu’s hands tightly. 

Hyunggu just looked at him, clearly showing that he knew he didn’t believe Yuto’s words. That he knew Yuto didn’t even believe them.

“Come here,” Yuto pulled Hyunggu into his lap, “I love you, okay. You said one day it won’t be enough, but to me it is, and until that one day comes, let me love you. Let my love be enough.”

A hot tear seared a path down Hyunggu’s cheek as he leaned in to kiss Yuto. Yuto moved his hands down to Hyunggu’s thighs, letting his hands massage Hyunggu’s skin, getting him slowly riled up. Hyunggu whined against Yuto’s mouth. “I love you,” Yuto said as he moved Hyunggu to lay on his back. 

All Hyunggu could do was let out a whine in response, pulling Yuto closer to him. 

“Shhhh,” Yuto said calmly, “Patience, baby. Let me show you how much I love you, let me show you how beautiful I think you are.”

Hyunggu nodded, moving his hips up against Yuto’s thigh that was slotted between his legs. 

“You’re so cute when you’re needy,” Yuto growled lowly into Hyunggu’s ear.  
Hyunggu inhaled sharply. 

Yuto began slowly taking Hyunggu apart, before putting him back together again with words of affirmation, praise, and love. Yuto was going to make sure Hyunggu could feel the love Yuto had for him and only him. Yuto swam in the sounds he drew from Hyunggu’s pretty lips. “I love you,” Yuto whispered softly as both of their chests were steadily slowing down as their breathing calmed and their bodies stopped buzzing. 

“I love you too,” Hyunggu let his head fall back against the pillow, “I really do. I hope you know that. I hope that you can feel it.”

“I do, baby, I do,” Yuto kissed his forehead then gently lifted him off the bed to take a shower. 

“Really, Yuto?!” Hyunggu tossed his phone down on the counter, “Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Did you think I was stupid?” 

“Hyunggu, calm down, what’s going on?” Yuto tried to reach out. 

“No, don’t fucking touch me!” Hyunggu screamed. 

“What happened?” Yuto asked. 

“Don’t play dumb with me,” Hyunggu rolled his eyes. 

“Hyunggu, talk to me. What is it?” Yuto pleaded.

“Well, I called your mom to talk about Christmas plans,” Hyunggu said, immediately noticing the change in Yuto’s expression which made him angrier, “So we got to chatting and I mentioned how happy she must have been to see you and how good it must’ve been to spend time together as a family. Imagine her surprise when she had no idea what I was talking about, and imagine my surprise when she said she hadn’t seen you since last Christmas when we went together.”

“Hyunggu,” Yuto started, the realization fully setting in, “I can explain.”

“Yeah, you better fucking be able to,” Hyunggu spat, “Explain why I was humiliated in front of your mother as she had to pitifully tell me that you must’ve lied to me because she hadn’t seen you. Explain to me how I stupidly believed you for six months as you lied to me about where you were for two weeks. Were you ever even going to tell me? Or did you think I was stupid enough that you could get away with it?”

“Listen, Hyunggu, it’s not like that,” Yuto tugged at his hair. 

“Then what is it like? Where did you even go?” Hyunggu’s voice weakened, “Were you cheating on me?”

“No, no, oh my God, no,” Yuto quickly denied that, “Hyunggu I would never, I could never do that to you.”

“Then tell me everything, right now, and be honest. I’m so fucking sick of being lied to,” Hyunggu said sharply, but his body collapsed onto the seat of the barstool, his knees no longer able to hold him up. 

“I never went to Japan,” Yuto looked down. 

Hyunggu appreciated the fact that Yuto at least had it in him to feel ashamed.  
Yuto took a deep shaky breath, “It was my friend’s birthday from back home, and he lives in California now, and he wanted to go to Vegas for his birthday since it’s not that far, so a group of us got together and spent the two weeks surrounding his birthday in Vegas.”

Hyunggu scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Why couldn’t you just have been truthful with me from the start?”

“I was worried you’d be mad,” Yuto told him.

“Yuto, I wouldn’t have been mad about you going to spend a couple of weeks celebrating your friend’s birthday,” Hyunggu sighed. 

“You’re mad now,” Yuto pointed out. 

“Yes, I’m mad now, but I’m not mad you went to spend time with your friends,” Hyunggu practically screamed, “I’m mad that you lied to me, I’m mad that I was humiliated, I’m mad that you would’ve continued to be dishonest if it wasn’t for the fact that I caught you.”

“Hyunggu, I’m sorry,” Yuto sat down.

“Are you sorry about your actions or sorry you got caught?” Hyunggu asked.

“I’m sorry I lied to you in the first place, and I’m sorry I continued to lie to you,” Yuto said. 

“Do you really have that little faith in me that you felt like you had to lie to me? Did you really think I would be mad about you wanting to have a good time with your friends? Do you really think that low of me?” Hyunggu tried to hide the hurt in his voice. 

“No, Hyunggu,” Yuto shook his head, “You know I think the world of you.”

“Then why?” Hyunggu’s voice cracked.

“I don’t know,” Yuto stared a hole into the ground, “It was a lapse of bad judgment. We had been fighting so much and I didn’t want to risk another one.”

“Well, I hope you got what you wished for, yeah you saved a fight that wouldn’t have happened, but this feeling,” Hyunggu closed his eyes, “this feeling is so much worse than any fight would’ve been. You broke my trust Yuto.”

“Hyunggu, I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you from the beginning,” Yuto tried to hold his hands.

Hyunggu gently placed his hands in his lap, Yuto feeling the cold rejection in his chest. “You’re damn right you should’ve,” Hyunggu massaged his hands together, trying to fight the urge to reach for Yuto. 

“How can I make it up to you?” Yuto asked. 

“I don’t know, Yuto,” Hyunggu shrugged, “I really don’t know.”

Yuto fought the urge to cry as he felt the tears welling up, he had gotten himself in this mess, it was his fault for lying, he didn’t have the right to cry. “Whatever it takes, Hyunggu, I’ll do whatever it takes,” Yuto eventually said, not able to stop a tear from searing his cheek. 

Hyunggu smiled brokenly, wiping Yuto’s tear away with his thumb, “I know you would, but right now I’m not sure there’s anything you can do. I need time. You lied about your whereabouts for two weeks and kept up that lie for another six months. Right now, Yuto, I see you and I see someone who I can’t trust.” 

“What are you saying?” Yuto’s voice was scared. 

“I think I need space,” Hyunggu gripped Yuto’s hands tightly in his own, finally giving in to the comfort he knew they both needed, even if they were the reasons for each other’s discomfort.

Yuto’s eyes widened, “What? Hyunggu, no please, I can’t lose you. Please don’t do this.”

“Baby,” Hyunggu tried to put on his best smile, “It’s not like that. We’re not breaking up, we’re not even taking a break. I just need a few days to myself, to think, that’s all.” 

“You’ll come back to me, right?” Yuto whispered.

“Always,” Hyunggu told him. 

“Where will you go?” Yuto asked, “I’m not going to come and see you before you’re ready, just so I know that you’re somewhere safe.”

“Changgu’s,” Hyunggu told him, “He always has a spot open for me.”

“Okay,” Yuto’s frown was etched in the lines of his face, “Please know how sorry I am. I’ve never regretted anything more.”

“I know. I just, I don’t want you to exert yourself trying to prove yourself to me to earn back my trust, which if I don’t take time to step back, that’s what is going to happen. I don’t want that for you. I think if we each take some time to reflect and come back and have a proper conversation, we’ll be just fine. I just can't do that right now, not in the emotional state I’m in. I’m too hurt,” Hyunggu told him. 

“I understand,” Yuto nodded, finally letting go of Hyunggu, his whole body immediately turning cold. 

Hyunggu pushed himself up from the stool and packed a duffel bag. 

“That’s a lot for just a few days,” Yuto frowned. 

“I’ll see you around, Yuto,” Hyunggu kissed his cheek before walking out of the door.

“I’ll see you around,” Yuto whispered to the air. 

Hyunggu threw his scarf down on the couch and discarded his coat with a humph. “How on Earth could you do that to me?”

“You weren’t giving me any other choice,” Yuto countered. 

“So you caused a scene in front of my entire family?” Hyunggu raised an eyebrow, “My grandparents were there.” 

“I’m sorry but you weren’t listening,” Yuto said. 

“No,” Hyunggu said angrily, “I was listening, I was just trying to keep it under control, but you made it worse.”

“I was trying to get you to hear me. You never hear me.”

“I do hear you, Yuto!” Hyunggu shouted, “But do you hear me? That was my family, people that raised me, people I respect, and you made a mess of everything in front of them!”

“Can you stop doing that?” Yuto stepped back.

“Doing what?” Hyunggu gestured, his voice still loud, “Standing up for myself?”

“No,” Yuto raised his voice back, “The yelling, just stop yelling. I would like to have a fucking boyfriend I can talk to without it turning into a screaming match!”

“Sorry,” Hyunggu took a deep breath. 

“What are you doing?” Yuto asked.

“Texting Changgu,” Hyunggu told him, “I’m going to see what they’re doing and maybe some time with our friends will help us both cool down, and I can figure out how to apologize to my entire family for your behavior.”

“You’re still brushing me under the rug,” Yuto frowned. 

“I’m not, you’re just making a big deal out of nothing,” Hyunggu said, checking his phone that beeped, “They’re at Hongseok’s.” 

Yuto rolled his eyes and followed Hyunggu out again to the car. 

“Who invited them?” Hongseok said as soon as they walked in the door.

“I did,” Changgu said pointedly, which quickly shut Hongseok up. 

“Did you not want us here?” Hyunggu asked. 

“No, no,” Hongseok lied, “We just thought you were at your parents so we didn’t say anything.”

“No, go on, you might as well tell them the truth,” Yanan played his next card, “You said telling them may make them come and you didn’t want them to get into another argument and make things awkward.”

“Oh,” Hyunggu looked down, “Sorry, we’ll be on our best behavior.”

“See? We fight so much our friends don’t even want us around anymore,” Yuto crossed his arms.

“Are you really going to start this again? In the middle of our friend group, right after they said it makes them uncomfortable?” Hyunggu argued. 

“Hyunggu, I’m tired of this. I don’t want to be your boyfriend if all we’re going to do is fight all the time,” Yuto sighed. 

Hwitaek swallowed as he realized how bad this situation was about to escalate.

“Oh, so you want to break up?” Hyunggu made himself smaller. 

“No, that’s not what I said,” Yuto clarified, “I’m just… tired of fighting, that’s all.”

“I’m leaving. If I get to the car, and I turn around and don’t see you, then we’re over,” Hyunggu told him. 

Hyunggu walked out of the door and Yuto immediately went after him, but his hand paused on the door handle. He wanted to go after Hyunggu, but something in him was holding him back. He clenched his jaw as he heard the car door slam shut. 

Yuto walked back to the table, his eyes watery. “Deal me in,” he said with a strain in his voice, evidently fighting off the urge to cry. 

“It’ll all be okay,” Hwitaek told him. 

Yuto sighed, his shoulders shaking as he shrugged, “It’s over now. No more fighting. Let’s just play some cards, okay?”

“Alright,” Hwitaek conceded, “Cards it is.”

Hyunggu fought off the urge to break down the entire drive to his and Yuto’s home. He kept telling himself he would be no good behind the wheel if he couldn’t keep it together. The second he stepped into their apartment, he let himself go. His sobs were loud and staggered, his breathing completely out of control. He began throwing his belongings haphazardly into any suitcase, duffel bag, and backpack he owned despite his vision being completely cloudy from all the tears. 

His chest felt like it was on fire, his eyes exhausted, but he calmed himself down enough to get to the train station. He couldn’t care less about all the other train passengers that were seeing him a total mess as tears kept silently cascading down his cheeks for the next hour. Arriving at the doorstep of the house he just left, his mother took one look at him and knew. “Oh, Hyunggu, my baby,” she pulled him into a hug, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Can I stay here? I promise I’ll get my own place as soon as I find one, but I just, I don’t have anywhere else to go right now,” Hyunggu sniffled. 

“Of course you can,” she told him, “You can stay as long as you like. Would you like some tea?”

“Please,” Hyunggu nodded, “Where is everyone else?” 

“Already asleep,” she told him. 

“I’ll tell them how sorry I am in the morning,” Hyunggu looked down.

“There’s no need for that,” his mother shook her head, “If you think your grandparents haven’t argued with each other before, then you’re in for a surprise. They’re not angry with you, I promise, they understand it more than you probably realize.”

Hyunggu nodded, “Okay.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she handed him the mug.

“We broke up, there’s nothing more to talk about,” Hyunggu’s voice broke, “It’s over.” 

“Mom is here,” she hugged him, “Mom is always right here.”

Hyunggu cried into her shoulder, hugging her tightly. “It hurts.”

“I know,” she pet his hair, “It’s okay. Let it out.” 

Hyunggu felt like a kid again, crying to his mom, but he didn’t care. 

“You should get some rest, okay,” she suggested. 

Hyunggu nodded, “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too little one,” she kissed his forehead.

“Have you eaten?” Yanan asked gently, opening the curtains in Yuto’s living room, earning a loud groan from the mountain of blankets on the couch.

“No,” Yuto said.

“You need to eat,” Yanan sighed.

“Not hungry,” Yuto frowned.

“Too bad, so sad,” Yanan yanked the blankets off Yuto’s body, “Take a shower, we’re going to grab something to eat.”

“Fine,” Yuto’s voice was gruff.

“Have you heard from him?” Yanan asked.

“What do you think?” Yuto glared. 

“Don’t give me that tone,” Yanan said, “I was just asking.”

“Yeah, right sorry. No, I haven’t heard from him since I let our relationship end by not following him because I’m an idiot, and came home to an empty fucking house, not even a note saying goodbye,” Yuto rolled his eyes. 

“Go take a shower,” Yanan frowned, trying to not show how hurt he was for his friend.

Yuto’s mind was hazy as he got in the shower, letting the hot water cascade around him. He couldn’t get rid of the tight feeling in his chest, no matter how hard he tried. He missed Hyunggu. That’s the only thought his mind could produce. He missed Hyunggu. He was stupid for letting him go. The apartment didn’t feel the same without him, Yuto couldn’t even bring himself to sleep in his bed without Hyunggu next to him. It didn’t feel right, nothing felt right anymore.

Yuto wasn’t sure what was the water from the shower and what was his tears.  
He still felt numb and empty as he walked into the bedroom to get dressed. He felt like he was wading through a blanket of fog as he did anything. He missed Hyunggu watching him change his clothes and making inappropriate flirty comments with a radiant smile on his face. He missed Hyunggu hugging his waist as they stood in the kitchen. He missed Hyunggu waking him up in the morning with soft kisses on his forehead. He missed Hyunggu’s laugh, his smile, his voice, the way he would sing in the shower. He missed Hyunggu.

Yuto’s breath was shaky and labored, as he fell to his knees in front of the dresser. His vision was blurry and the lump in his throat was growing larger. 

“Yuto!” Yanan quickly ran into the room. 

“It hurts,” Yuto wrapped his fists in Yanan’s shirt, “It hurts so bad.”

Yanan hugged him closer, unsure of how to respond. Yuto seemed to not need words, as he let himself fall into Yanan’s hug. “I think I’ll just order takeout,” Yanan said gently.

Yuto nodded. 

Yanan helped Yuto settle in on the couch as he called for food. When Yanan sat down next to him, gently holding Yuto’s hand to bring him comfort, Yuto didn’t know what came over him next. Yuto missed Hyunggu more than he could handle, Yanan was there, he needed a distraction. Yuto whispered Yanan’s name.

Yanan hummed, looking over at him.

Yuto started to lean in. Yanan gasped and he almost started leaning in too, before he remembered the situation. 

“Yuto,” Yanan slowly pulled away, “We shouldn’t.”

“You like me, don’t you?” Yuto raised an eyebrow.

“I do,” Yanan looked down, “but it doesn’t change the fact that we shouldn’t. You’re still in love with Hyunggu, for one. For two, Hyunggu is my friend, I can’t do that to him.”

Yuto sighed, “I’m sorry, you’re right. I don’t know what came over me.”

“You’re heartbroken, Yuto,” Yanan told him, “It can make you act irrationally.”

“I just want him back,” Yuto confessed, “It feels like half of me is missing. My other half, my better half… it’s just gone.”

“What’s stopping you?” Yanan asked, “You know him better than anyone. You know where he would go. So if you truly feel that way, go get him back. You’re the one who let him walk away, you have to be the one to go get him. He isn’t going to come back when you’re the one who technically broke things off. He thinks you don’t want him anymore. You have to be the one to show him how wrong he is.”

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” Yuto asked. 

“What if he does?” Yanan replied.

“It’s been three weeks without a word,” Yuto said, “I really doubt he does.”

“You never know until you try,” Yanan helpfully supplied, “Don’t risk losing him for good.”

“Why are you helping me at the expense of your own feelings?” Yuto asked.

“You and Hyunggu are each other’s persons. You need to be together. You’re both my friends, and you’re in love with each other. How could I not respect that and root for both of you? I’ve processed my feelings a long time ago, and I’m getting over you,” Yanan told him.

“You’re a good guy, Yanan. You always have been. I’m sorry I couldn’t love you in the way you wanted,” Yuto sighed, “You deserve to be loved wholly and beautifully, and you will find someone who you love entirely, and they will love you back.”

“Don’t apologize for something you can’t control. Thank you for your kind words, and I know I will. Now go get your other half back. I don’t want to see your face until you do,” Yanan smiled. 

“Like right now?” Yuto asked. 

“Yes, like right now,” Yanan pulled Yuto up off the couch, “What are you waiting for?” 

“What am I even going to say to him to fix this?” Yuto asked. 

“It will come to you,” Yanan said, “Let your heart do the talking for once, don’t overthink.”

“Okay,” Yuto nodded, determination building in his body, “Okay. I’m going to get him back.”

“Good luck, Yuto,” Yanan hugged him, “I’ll see you, with Hyunggu, later.”

“Thank you, Yanan, for everything.”

Yuto knocked on the door of where he knew Hyunggu had to be at. When no one answered he began to feel the anxiety rising. Did he fuck up that bad? Was he too late? He knocked one more time, a little louder, praying that at least someone was on the other side of the door, but if not, he would wait there all night until they got back. 

Slowly the door opened. Yuto sighed in relief. 

“Mrs. Kang,” Yuto bowed.

“Yuto,” Hyunggu’s mother said politely, but the gentleness in her tone he had come to know was absent, “How can I help you?”

“Is Hyunggu here?” Yuto asked. 

She crossed her arms, “Yuto, you should leave.”

“I can’t,” Yuto told her, “All due respect, I can’t do that. I need to see him.”

“Why is he here?” Yuto heard a voice from behind Mrs. Kang.

“Go back upstairs, Minju,” she said gently. 

“No,” Minju stood similarly to her mother, a pose Yuto also recognized from when Hyunggu would seem affronted, “Yuto, why are you here?”

“I need to see him,” Yuto said simply.

Minju scoffed, “That’s not going to happen. Don’t you think you’ve caused enough damage? You broke my brother’s heart. You don’t have a right to see him anymore. Do you want to rub salt in the wound?” 

“Minju, honey,” Mrs. Kang interrupted, remaining as diplomatic as always, “Why don’t you go upstairs and check on him?” 

“Fine,” Minju rolled her eyes, “Don’t let him in. Don’t forget, he’s the reason Hyunggu is the way he is right now. He caused this. Everything that’s happening is his fault, and he should feel ashamed. How dare he show his face here?”

“Minju!” her mother scolded, “Upstairs!”

Yuto swallowed, trying to will the lump in his throat to reduce. He tried to will the tears welling up in his eyes to go away. “I’m sorry,” Yuto croaked, “I’m so sorry for everything. Please give me a chance to fix this.”

“Yuto,” Mrs. Kang put her hand on his shoulder, “Please understand why it’s hard for us.”

“I do,” Yuto nodded, “and I don’t blame you.”

“Yuto.” 

Yuto’s world came collapsing down at that very moment. His ears blocked out every sound except that voice. His eyes immediately focused on the owner of the voice. It was all he could focus on, his tunnel vision blocked out every other sight around him. 

“Hyunggu,” Yuto said softly. 

“Hyunggu,” Minju was running down the stairs, “What are you doing?”

Hyunggu ignored her as he walked slowly towards Yuto. 

Yuto saw exactly what Minju was talking about earlier. Hyunggu’s eyes were sunken, and he was scarily thin. His skin was dulled and his eyes held no sparkle. Yuto’s stomach turned. This was his fault. He had done this.

“Hyunggu,” Yuto’s voice was broken as tears slowly ran down his cheeks. 

“Yuto,” Hyunggu’s voice was small. 

Minju stepped in between the two, trying to put a buffer in between her older brother, and the man who hurt him. 

“Minju,” Mrs. Kang pulled her daughter out of the way, “Let’s go out for dinner, give them space.”

“No!” Minju yelled, “He doesn’t get to do this.”

“Minju,” Hyunggu held her hand, “It’s okay. I want to talk to him.”

“But-,” Minju started. 

“Please,” Hyunggu sighed.

“Fine,” Minju glowered at Yuto, “If you mess things up even more, I will personally make your life miserable.” 

“Understood,” Yuto nodded. 

After his mother and sister left, Hyunggu let Yuto into the house. 

“Hyunggu, I’m so sorry,” Yuto immediately dropped to his knees. 

Hyunggu’s eyes widened, “What are you doing?”

Yuto looked up at Hyunggu, “I’m sorry. I’m begging for your forgiveness. Please forgive me, please give me a second chance. I can’t do this without you. Please forgive me.”

“Yuto, stand up,” Hyunggu held his hand out for Yuto to take.

Yuto’s hand fit perfectly in Hyunggu’s as Hyunggu helped him to his feet. He didn’t want to let go. He missed Hyunggu’s touch. 

“Yuto,” Hyunggu sighed, “It’s not that easy.”

“I know it’s not,” Yuto looked down, “I don’t blame you. Just please, give me a chance.”

“A chance to what?” Hyunggu crossed his arms, “Let you break my heart again when I become too much for you.”

“What?” Yuto said.

“That’s why you let me go. I was too much for you. I was too emotional, too sensitive, too argumentative. I get it. I’m trying to make myself different. I’m trying to make myself less of everything, because I know that’s why it ended. I’m sorry for the way that I am. But why would I let you pull me back in only to get my heart broken again when you decide I still am too much for you to handle. I’m incapable of being loved, I get it now," Hyunggu took a deep breath, "You don’t have to force yourself to try again for my sake.”

“Hyunggu that’s not even remotely close to the truth. You were never too much for me, and you should never change. You are not unlovable. The reason I’m here is because I love you. I’m so in love with you, and I was stupid for letting you go. You’re my other half. I can’t lose you again. I made a mistake, and I want to fix it.”

“Then why? Why didn’t you follow me?” Hyunggu asked. 

“Because I’m an idiot. My feelings were hurt, and I wasn’t thinking straight, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I will never forgive myself for letting things happen the way they did that night. I love you, and I’m sorry,” Yuto said gently. 

“I love you too,” Hyunggu said quietly, “I remember when you said that our love would always be enough, but it wasn’t. How am I supposed to trust it again?”

Yuto winced at the memory. That morning had been so pivotal for both of them, and Yuto ruined it. “Hyunggu. I love you so much, and I will always love you. I know my words may not mean much right now, but I mean them. Please. I’m not whole without you. I miss you more than anything. I love you more than anything. I want you back Hyunggu.”

“Yuto,” Hyunggu started. 

“You don’t have to answer right now,” Yuto told him, “I just needed you to know that I love you and I’m sorry.”

“I miss you too,” Hyunggu sighed, “I’m sorry for pushing you too far.”

“Don’t apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who messed up,” Yuto replied.

“But I do,” Hyunggu said, tears building in his eyes, “I’m sorry for being a basketcase most of the time, I’m sorry for making you unhappy, I’m sorry for pushing you to where your only option for peace was for us to split, I’m sorry for not being the man you needed and the man you had loved. I’m sorry.”

Yuto pulled Hyunggu into a hug, “I’m unhappy without you. I need you in my life again.”

Hyunggu let himself relax into Yuto’s embrace as he cried. His body was shaking as Yuto held him closer. Hyunggu clenched his fists in the back of Yuto’s shirt, scared that if he let go, Yuto would disappear, like it was all just a dream.  
“I’m not going anywhere, not again,” Yuto said gently, “Please come home.”  
Hyunggu nodded. 

Yuto pulled away from the hug to look Hyunggu in the eyes, wiping his tears gently with his thumb, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Hyunggu sniffled.

Yuto leaned in to kiss Hyunggu. At that moment everything felt right again. He was kissing his person again. Yuto let him get lost in the feeling of Hyunggu, the feeling he had missed and craved so intensely. 

Hyunggu felt whole again, he felt at peace. The missing piece of him was back, he was complete with Yuto next to him. Hyunggu gave in to the feeling that was absent for so long, the feeling of love that he was only able to feel with Yuto. 

“Do you want to help me pack?” Hyunggu asked when they pulled away from each other.

Yuto nodded. 

“Hyunggu,” Yuto smiled widely.

“Hi, baby,” Hyunggu smiled widely. “Someone looks excited.”

“I am,” Yuto was bouncing on both feet. 

Hyunggu raised his eyebrow, “About?”

“What’s going on?” Hongseok asked. 

Yanan and Changgu smiled at each other and then at Hongseok from each side of him, knowingly.

Jinho gasped at the scene that just unfolded in front of all of them. 

Hyunggu’s hand was covering his mouth, as tears welled up in his eyes, looking at Yuto who was down on one knee in front of him, holding a box with a beautiful ring. 

“Yuto, what are you doing?” Hyunggu breathed out.

“I love you so much. You are the love of my life, my person, my other half, and I love you and will love you for the rest of my life. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. Will you give me that chance? Will you marry me, Kang Hyunggu?”

Hyunggu jumped into Yuto’s arms, nodding frantically. “Yes, yes I will marry you.”

All of their friends cheered loudly as Yuto slipped the ring on Hyunggu’s finger, and pulled him into a kiss.


End file.
